Stepping Stones
As one of the shortest good-beach weather summers draws to a close, weekend warriors are savoring every bit of forecasted sunshine. On my weekly trek from New Jersey to Connecticut, traffic on the Merritt Parkway grew heavier with each mile. I scanned the radio stations and listened for something to help pass the time. Rod Stewart’s gravelly croon caught my attention. He was singing Forever Young, the song I dedicated to my daughter when she graduated high school and I let my mind drift back to 1996.
Emotions ran high that summer before she left for college. I needed her most and she wanted me least. I wanted to hold on and knew I had to let go. She was ready to conquer the world – her world now, not mine – a world I could no longer control. I had prepared us both for this time over the prior 18 years, so with equal amounts of pride, confidence, and trepidation, I stepped aside and she took the helm and navigated through the years that followed to become the woman, wife and mother she is today.
Instinctively, we want to hold on to the child in our children forever and keep them safe. And whether we send them off to college or to their first apartment, the time comes when we can’t protect them any longer, when we stand in the background and parent from a distance knowing we laid a solid track for them to follow, and we give them wings.
El Browning
September 6th, 2009 at 9:00 pm
One step at a time. At 18, they want to take them all at once. Leaving home is a very big step. I remember the days when each of my children left home for the first time. As you said, conflicting feelings. They made it through and so did I. Thanks for sharing your insight.
SonyaSunny
September 7th, 2009 at 2:40 pm
Thanks for article. Everytime like to read you.
Thank you
SonyaSunny
PC McCullough
September 17th, 2009 at 3:42 pm
Sonya, thank you. Keep coming back! pc
El Browning
September 8th, 2009 at 7:27 pm
This evening I left a comment in response to a question on the Future of Aging web site blog. An adult child was commenting on the pain of watching a mother become frail and incapacitated. I thought of your “Stepping Stones.” Not only are our children on stepping stones into the unknown when we send them off to college or out into the world but so are we and our parents on stepping stones as we find ourselves suddenly thrust into the position of caregiver to elderly frail parents. Often unfamiliar territory and not always friendly. Still, a journey worth taking. one step at a time.
PC McCullough
September 9th, 2009 at 6:30 pm
How true. Thanks for bringing that to our attention, El.