I skipped my morning workout today and jumped right into business.  Self talk became my immediate companion and stayed with me throughout the day.  It was much like the cartoon where an angel rests on one shoulder saying “No worries, you’ll run later,” while a devil sits on the other saying, “Ah, workouts are for sissies!”  

If there ever was a day to talk myself out of a run, today was it; nearly 100 degrees, not a breeze to be found and high humidity. Did I mention I live at the top of a hill?  Starting is the easy part, finishing … not so easy, even on a cool day.

At 5PM the little angel won.  Yes, it was hot; yes, it was hard; yes, I was glad when it was over; and all the time I ran I repeated,  “I am strong, I am fit, I am confident, I will endure.” That chant has helped me overcome every hurdle I’ve faced; no matter the size, no matter the issue.

 A friend once said about triathlons, “Entering has nothing to do with finishing.” The same is true for anything we want to accomplish, and though you may not be able to predict your future, you certainly can 4C anything you want with Clarity, Commitment, Conviction and Consistency.

What did you 4C?

They say it’s never too late to try something new, so I’m trying crutches.  At nearly 60 years old, I had escaped broken bones and any debilitating injuries until last Friday when a spill sent me to the emergency room.  X-rays showed a broken foot.  An ER technician wrapped the injury. After a 30- second crash course, I graduated from Crutch Academy and she sent me hobbling back into my life with instructions to contact an orthopedic surgeon who would cast it for me … Lovely.  

I’ve told the story several times since Friday and each time I do, though the physical pain … is a physical pain, the situation seems comedic, even laughable.  As I struggled through my house this morning navigating steps on my butt while dragging my crutches alongside, I thought about the Ed Sullivan show.  Why Ed Sullivan?

If you’re older than 50, you probably remember the king of variety show hosts.  Each Sunday evening Mr. Sullivan came into our living room.  We gathered around the television where were entertained by acts like The Flying Wallendas and other circus acts, Topo Gigio the singing Italian mouse, ventriloquist Senor Wensus and comedians like Rodney Dangerfield, Flip Wilson, Carol Burnett, Joan Rivers and the list goes on. Each week he closed out the show with musical entertainment.  Who doesn’t remember the night the Beatles made their US debut performance on the show.

The show was pretty formulaic which may easily have played a key role in the high viewership, but I didn’t realize until today how closely that formula relates to life, at least mine. My life is a balancing act. I juggle multiple issues between aging parents in and out of hospitals and rehabilitation facilities, a career that takes me across the country sometimes multiple times in a month. While I’m gone, I do my best to keep all the plates spinning; a feat that, in itself, takes focus and perfect timing.  On the most challenging days, though I may try my hardest, I realize I just cannot pull a rabbit out of a hat.

Ed Sullivan never left us clutching our seats, wondering if the girl on the flying trapeze would fall into the net, or if the magician would somehow actually saw the beautiful model in half.  I end my days very much like Ed Sullivan ended his variety hour; I look for the lighter side of life, find something to laugh about and go to sleep with a song in my heart.

Are you lucky?

When was the last time you tried your luck at a game of chance? Two years ago I spun the wheel and it landed on “Go to New Jersey. Do not pass Go.  Do not Collect $200. Go directly to New Jersey, collect your aging, ailing octogenarian parents from two different hospitals (your dad will likely not make it through the next six months), tend to their needs, and start a new job.  Oh, and while you’re at it, lose the life you have in Florida and the man who goes with it.

 Hard to believe that was a win, isn’t it? We experience a new variety of normal every day here, some more challenging than others. And at the end of each day I am grateful for that day and pray to have them both with me for at least one more.

Are you lucky?

I may be exhausted, but I am so lucky.

Have you noticed how fragile life is? 

In the past few days I have learned of the passing of two people who touched my life – one was a high school classmate who, when I was new to the area, helped  me feel at home in a new town.  I will forever remember Joyce (Fontana) Rhodes as she was when we were in school – young, vibrant and full of life. 

Barry Rosa, was a former colleague. Barry’s business sense, quick wit and kind heart are just a few of the qualities this very special man possessed. 

Both Barry and Joyce had not reached the sixth decade of their lives.  Their passing will affect many … their living was a gift to us all.

If you don’t, you are in the majority.  Studies show that 71 percent of people keep their resolutions for two weeks, 64 percent for a month and 50 percent for three months.

Personally, I’ve never quite understood New Year’s resolutions.  Why must we wait for the start of a new year to change something about ourselves that we didn’t like the entire year before – perhaps even longer? Consider the weight loss resolution.  People watch pounds and inches pile on day after day, month after month, and yes, even year after year. Unhappy with their appearance and perhaps concerned about health risks, each December 31^st they resolve to lose those pounds in the next 12 months. The thing they neglect to do, however, is stop overeating and at the end of the next year they’re in the same hole only deeper and they’ve disappointed themselves because they gave up before they succeeded.

Dictionary.com defines a resolution as “A formal expression of an opinion or intention made …” Well, if we’re going to make a formal expression, let’s put some meat behind it (no pun intended to the weight loss resolution crowd) and go beyond the statement.

• Start today.
• Set the goal.
• Commit to it.
• Come up with a plan to make it happen.
• Jump in with both feet.

Don’t stop till you get to The End.

Stick with me here. 

 Capes … what’s on your nightstand? …ahh, Punta Cana - nice! … green light …attitude, aptitude, fortitude … celebrate Lois … on goals, planning and execution … what happens in your life, starts in your gut … Campania … what’s in your briefcase? … on mentors, coaches and role models … where’s a pen and paper when you need one? … transcend walls … how’s Nick doing? … Dylan’s detox … as you wish … what will they do with that? …quilts … the biggest loser … book signing event.

 What was that? That was the voices in my head.  Don’t grab your iPhone and call the nearest facility for the mentally insane. It’s not time to commit me … well at least not for this.

 Those snippets arrived during my ride from New Jersey to Connecticut early Friday morning as the moon faded and morning took shape. With Lily curled on my lap, I drove along the familiar 130-mile trek, enjoyed the symphony of silence and let my thoughts flow. When I realized the volume and variety of ideas flashing in and out of my mind, I struggled to embed at least a partial list into my memory and then scribbled them into a journal as quickly as I recalled them when I arrived home.

 This is real stuff.  You have it too, and yes, you do want it. Random thoughts run through our minds constantly. This is not your daily to-do list. These are thoughts, though seemingly jumbled and useless at the moment, that can launch dreams into reality.

 Do you listen to the voices in your head? What do they say?

words

While shopping recently I was within earshot of a supervisor openly admonishing an employee for what they considered an error in judgment. Her words were cutting and filled with sarcasm. Along with other innocent shoppers, I became witness to this bullying style of leadership and I shot sympathetic and supporting glances to the victim. I moved along quickly, sure the tirade would end once the audience had passed. As I did, I thought about the two women. I wondered what caused one to be so verbally brutal to others? Why didn’t the employee lash back?  Was it out of respect, or possibly fear? Perhaps she was afraid she would her job.

 Our words are powerful. Whether parenting, in business situations and even conversations with friends, our words can be pearls of wisdom or weapons of destruction. Choose them carefully. 

•  Think first… speak second.
• Encourage don’t criticize.
• Compliment in public, correct in private.
• Consider the receiver’s perspective.
• Lead people; manage situations.
• Eliminate sarcasm, negativity, and cynicism.
• Teach with tolerance.

 What impact do you words have?

 A dear friend lost a dear friend this past week.  Over the past several months, she had posted his turn-of-live events on Facebook and we all knew his life was coming to an end.  We sent our get-well wishes and then our condolences.  I honor Terri and her family for their love and dedication to their faithful friend, Bronson. 

Another friend showed this to me today.  The irony that it fell on the heels of Bronson’s passing compelled me to share it.  I do not know its origin and thank the author for this great advice.

Ten Commandments for Pet Owners

1. My life is likely to last 10 to 15 years.  Any separation from you will be very painful.
2. Give me time to understand what you want from me.  Do not break my spirit with your temper, though I will always forgive you. Your patience will teach me more effectively.
3. Please have me spayed or neutered.
4. Treat me kindly, my beloved friend, for no heart in all the world is more grateful for your kindness than mine.  Don’t be angry with me for long, and don’t lock me up as punishment.  After all, you have your job, your friends, and your entertainment.  I have only you.
5. Speak to me often. Even if it don’t understand your words, I understand your voice when it speaks to me.  Your voice is the sweetest sound I ever hear, as you must know by my enthusiasm whenever I hear your footsteps.
6. Take me in when it’s cold and wet. I’m a domestic animal and am no longer accustomed to the bitter elements. I ask for little more than your gentle hands petting me. Keep my bowl filled with water.  Freed me good food so that I may stay well to romp and play and do your bidding.  By your side I stand ready, willing and able to share my life with you, for that is what I live for.  I’ll never forget how well you have treated me.
7. Do not hit me. Remember, I have teeth that can easily crush the bones in your hand, but I choose not be bite you.
8. Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, ask yourself if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I’m not getting the right food, or I’ve been in the sun too long; my hearing maybe getting weak.
9. Take care of me when I get old. For you will grow old too.
10. When I am old or when I no longer enjoy good health, please do not make heroic efforts to keep me going.  I am not having fun. Just see to it that my trusting life is taken gently. And be with me on that difficult journey when it is time to say goodbye. Never say, “I just can’t bear to watch.” Everything is easier for me when you are there. I will leave this earth knowing with my last breath that my fate was always safest in your hands. I love you.

Balance opposites

I was on a walk yesterday with a friend and she mentioned how vastly different she thought we were and that yet, we were friends. We talked about it and realized though on the surface we may seem like opposites, we have distinctly similar qualities, beliefs, standards, and characteristics.  In the course of our conversation, it occurred to me that we could easily have never become friends.

After barely getting to know each other, someone made a comment that put a stake in the ground between us and though we each remained cordial toward the other, a line had been drawn and neither of us crossed it. Shortly after the incident, I relocated. Two years later my life brought me back to the same neighborhood.

I saw my neighbor through my window one day and stepped out to say hello. We chatted briefly, caught up on the news of the neighborhood, exchanged email addresses and returned to our separate homes. As I emptied box after box, I thought how much I enjoyed our conversation. I sent her an email and suggested we get together. We did. Our friendship has grown since that day and I believe we will be friends for a very long time to come. We have discovered how very much alike and how very different we are and learn much from eachother.

I’m sure you’ve heard the expression “opposites attract ” and yet it’s easy to allow differences to get in the way of opportunity. When we close our eyes and open our minds our world grows.  When opposites attract, they discover similarities and when likes attract, they discover differences. Just ask these unlikely friends.

For the past several years, I have had the distinct honor to work with an organization dedicated to bringing sunshine into the lives of children with cancer.  Each year The Sunshine Kids Foundation, a non-profit organization based in Houston, Texas reaches out pediatric oncology units at hospitals across the country and offers the opportunity for young cancer patients to join other “kids” to enjoy skiing in Steamboat Springs, Colorado; live theater in New York City, discovering the Histories of Washington, DC, including meeting past Presidents like George W. Bush; touring in Hawaii, motorcycling through the Texas hill country, and much more.

A unique differentiator at The Sunshine Kids Foundation is that the events are Kids only – no moms or dads, siblings, etc., just kids. Each group of approximately 4-6 cancer patients is accompanied by a nurse chaperone and flown to the destination where they meet up with about 30 other young teens experiencing the same lives and times for a week of fun, excitement, and perhaps a few moments of fame … Sunshine.  

While the trips are made possible through donations by corporate sponsors and individuals like you and me, the real heroes are the Kids. Their courage is commendable, their hope unwavering, and their gratitude immense. I am proud to stand beside them at fundraisers and make others who are more fortunate aware of their cause. I take every opportunity to join them on trips and take pleasure in watching them smile, if even for a short time.