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Posted on July 21, 2011 - by pcmccullough

How far is Pluto?

Life is good. My closest circle knows

the story of my life, specifically 2005 – 2011. For those who do not, suffice to say I was in the best and the worst places of my life during that time. I spent three years with the people who brought me into this world, watching one of them slowly slip away and though I didn’t want to be in that geographical place, the experience was most rewarding … one I will carry with me the rest of my days. In addition to family time and totally unrelated to it, a sweet relationship came to a bitter end. I protected my heart for the next four years while it mended.

I decided it was time to move forward … but how? Friends had talked about online dating sites and Paula and Bill had even found true love through one.  I had tried online dating in 2003 when online dating wasn’t cool, but it seems now to be the new substitute to the bar scene which pretty much stinks no matter what generation you are.  It did seem a good enough way to weed out weirdoes (pardon me weirdoes), remain somewhat invisible, and possibly meet and make a few new friends. With those expectations, I bit the bullet, entered my information, uploaded pictures and waited.

I guess there really are a lot of fish in the sea. In two days, more than 200 people had viewed my profile. My inbox filled … a wink here, a flirt there, an actual composed message every now and then. For the most part I didn’t see anything different in the online dating scene from 2003 to 2011 with the exception of receding hairlines and beer bellies. Okay, so I’m exaggerating … a little …  very little.

My rule was easy: When a message arrives, check the sender’s profile first, then decide my response … no picture or no personal message equals no response. That narrowed the field tremendously. Hey, a girl has to have some standard especially when the field is pretty much invisible and when the girl is a huge Criminal Minds fan. Standards and all, I did meet a selective few very nice men.  We shared stories and laughs over coffee and cocktails and went our separate ways.

I don’t know what made me do it … perhaps fate. ..

I clicked on a message one day before I checked the profile.  It was short and sweet – a compliment and a comment that it was too bad we lived so far apart which made it virtually impossible for us to meet.  Curious now, I checked his profile and discovered less than sixty miles separated us.  I responded with a humorous comment about the distance which I viewed as a short jaunt considering my life and career. A fun banter began. After a few days of messaging we decided to meet.

Ten days separated the decision from the meeting and technology kept us not only in communication but in learning mode as well  … likes, dislikes, families, friends, careers – all the things we usually learn about people after we meet them face to face.  

A fond and very special friendship formed first through our chats, conversations and pictures. I teased him one day and asked if he still wanted to come to Niantic to meet.  He responded, “I’d go to Pluto to meet you!”

I waited patiently on a bench

 at Hole-In-The-Wall Beach. I brought a companion book along. My gaze shifted from my book to the water, but never to my right. I knew he would appear from that direction as he walked through the tunnel – one way in, one way out. Concentration eluded me. I kept my gaze down. People came and went, sitting on the bench alongside mine. We exchanged pleasantries while I wished them along their merry ways in my head.

I felt his approach … his footsteps coming through the tunnel. The breeze picked up, I lifted my eyes … He had me from hello.

The only limits we have are the ones we put on ourselves. Follow your dreams … even if they take you to Pluto.

Posted on June 21, 2011 - by pcmccullough

Why I write…

When I put pen to paper … or words to the screen … they flow through an event – an occurrence big or small that impacted me or that I believe will impact others. I take that and turn it into a message for the world via a blog post, work of fiction, inspiration and soon, my memoir.

Professional reviews are great to publicize the essence of the story through a critic’s eye and always appreciated. The true measure of impact though, comes from my readers.

 I met Linda Wiggins at the Vibrant Woman’s Conference in 2008 when she purchased a copy of Perfect. She became an immediate fan and then a friend. In a recent Facebook message Linda wrote:

 Linda Wiggins June 10 at 8:21am  

“…When is your memoirs book ready for release? I want to make sure I get my order in among the first.

I am on vacation around Florida this week and spent the first two days spelling my sister, Sara, who lives with and cares for our Mother who has Alzheimer’s. You’ll recall I ordered 365 Days of Gratitude and sent it to my sister. She keeps it out on the coffee table and I picked it up and started reading it aloud to my mother. What a delightful, spiritual experience. She loved it. I loved it.”

[This next paragraph was so cute and at the same time so entrenched in the reality of life, Linda, I just couldn't edit it out] 

“This is probably too much information, but you have to kind of watch her on the pot to make sure she doesn’t try to get up by herself and fall forward, and I turned this time from a drudge to something less so as I read story after story to her. What a great book.

I did not spot Perfect out in plain view, but remember when I said I hoped that by sending her that enjoyable fictional account of Being Mrs. Right that she might actually take it to heart rather than be turned off as with traditional self-help relationship books? Well, she now has found true love and is happy as a horny teen. I am so thrilled, because she took on this [caregiver] job at my behest, and she is doing such a fabulous job, and now it is that she did not have to pass up the chance at finding love because of her choice to take the live-in caregiver role. … I guess I’ll never know for sure, but perhaps your book had something to do with this! In the event it is true, I guess you’d better keep writing and giving your gift!”

 Thank you Linda, I will!

Posted on June 18, 2011 - by pcmccullough

Wish List … Bucket List … What’s the difference?

The answer is simple … goals.  Wish lists are for whiners and bucket lists are for doers. Wish lists are for dreamers, bucket lists are for goal setters.

I could go on forever with comparisons, the simple truth is if you want something badly enough you are willing to take the risks to make it happen. Did Bill Gates have a wish list? How about Gary Vaynerchuck … Steve Jobs?  The list of goal-setters and achievers is long, but the list of wishers is likely longer and alive and well in our everyday circles. You know them… “I wish I could have …, but …”;  “I wish I could do … but …”; “I wish I could go … but …”. 

I had a friend in high school who said she prayed every night that she would wake up thin the next morning, and if she did she would never overeat again. Perhaps you’ve found yourself tossing a thought into the wishing well a time or two. If so, ask yourself these two questions:

• Is it achievable?
• Am I willing to take the risks to get it?

If your answerto both questions is yes , it’s time to set a goal and make a plan, but before you do that you must do one more thing … change your self talk.  No more wishing … and no but’s about it! Eliminate but from your vocabulary and change it to AND.  Then change your self talk from “I wish I could, but” to: “I am going to _______ by ________, and this is how: ______”  .   

Only three percent of people had clear written goals, and those people achieve a high level of wealth and life status. Don’t be a member of the Should-a, Would-a, Could-a club. What will you change from a wish to a goal?