Posts Tagged ‘Children’


Posted on September 5, 2011 - by

Teach your children well … then trust that you did

 

The Prophet, Kahlil Gibran

Back in 1973 a friend gave me a copy of The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran. You may have read it. If not, you’ll surely want to. It was originally published in 1923, and in 1969 it was in its fifty-eighth printing. The Prohpet is one of those books that never go out of print … a bible of sorts. It certainly became mine.

I was pregnant with my first child at the time the book was given to me. Young and unaware, I awaited motherhood with a mixture of naiveté, innocence, and traditional values; and like my parents and in the tradition of theirs before them, I would be devoted to my children and they, in turn, would be at my side, or less than a 15 minute drive away. My friend Maryann had dog-eared page 17, where The Prophet speaks to the crowd “of Children.”  I read it then read it again and then again. I read it over and over working to grasp the message of the wise Prophet. 

My role became clear. Today as I listen to moms and dads stress over their children going off to school whether it’s kindergarten or university, I want to hand them a copy of The Prophet and tell them it’s okay.  They know what you’ve taught them (or not). They will take their experiences and traditions and build a life, their life.  We are catalysts for our children’s futures. Guide them, give them love, teach them values then be confident when you send them out into the world to grow into their own they will build from the foundation you laid.

Page 17 reads:

“And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, Speak to us of Children.

And he said:

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;

For even as He loves the arrow that flies,

So He loves the bow that is stable.”


Posted on June 16, 2011 - by

What do rocks and pearls have in common?

Have you ever talked to a box of rocks? I have. In fact, I do it as often as I can … the person behind me at the DMV, the person before me at the deli counter, the person next to me on a bar stool, all total strangers until someone, usually me, starts a conversation. That’s when one of five things happens:

  1. I have a brief exchange of pleasantries with a total stranger and move on with my day.
  2. I help someone see the brighter side of their day.  I don’t have a Pollyanna view of life, but I do focus on solutions rather than problems and bright instead of dark and you’d be surprised how much people will share with just a little nudge.
  3. Someone helps me see a brighter side of my day. These are usually children. Their view of the world hasn’t been discolored by negativity.  I often learn the most from children by observing their innocence.
  4. We discover we have something in common and decide to learn more about each other.
  5. The box contains seeds rather than rocks. In those instances we become grounded in a relationship. Our similarities, the seeds we plant for the future, whether friendship, business, or spirituality, create a bond that is nurtured and supported for years to come.

Finding a box of seeds among the boxes of rocks is like finding a pearl in an oyster … a pleasant and unexpected jewel. A find you treasure for a lifetime.

My mom told me repeatedly as a little girl that my big mouth would get me into trouble one day.  I admit I’ve had to wiggle my way out of a few conversations, but all the pearls were worth the wiggles in between.

 It’s not hard to talk to a box of rocks. It does take a lot chutzpa, a little discretion and the ability to sometimes throw caution to the wind and see what happens.   

Go for it! See what happens. Oh, and be sure share your experience here.


Posted on April 26, 2009 - by

Reach Out and Touch Someone

16456232Did you have a pen pal when you were young? I remember mine well.  Her name was Ann Morgan and she was from England. It was exciting to have a “friend” who lived in a foreign country.  We wrote religiously every week and I raced to the mailbox every day in anticipation of her letters.  They arrived in white envelopes with red and blue striped borders and stamps of British royalty sat regally on the upper right corner. My name and address written in cursive with European flair sent a message to anyone who touched it that Ann Morgan and I were friends across the ocean.  We wrote through high school and even a little beyond.  We had hoped to meet one day, then somewhere between high school graduation, college, marriage and children we lost touch.

I met my then-future husband while he was on a 30-day leave from the Navy.  We spent every day of the remaining two weeks together and promised to write when he left.  Once again, I kept the mailbox vigil, for the white envelopes with red and blue stripes. We exchanged pictures and I often packed my letters into boxes filled with oatmeal cookies and other treats from home. We spent the next eleven months learning about each other through our letters and became engaged to marry on his next leave.  We planned our wedding through letters during his second tour of duty in Viet Nam, then somewhere between raising children and growing careers we lost touch.

Important people can slip from your grip before you realize they’re gone.  Aging parents, tenuous marriages, blossoming relationships, growing children, long distance relationships all need nurturing. In our new society of instant messaging and social media networking, it is easy to fall into a false sense of communication security.  Nothing takes the place of personal touch. That’s real contact – person to person skin to skin if possible.

A real pat on the back for a job well done
An affectionate hug to a friend in need
A spoken compliment to a child
A follow-up kiss to the “I-Heart-U” text.

I’m all for saving the environment, but nothing takes the place of a hand-written note of thanks, get well wish or expression of condolence.  When was the last time you really reached out and touched someone?